my blawg.

celeryandhummus:

our kids will probably attend a middle school dance where the theme is the 2010’s

they’ll wear leggings with ugg boots and twerk to “call me maybe”

enayalate-h8-this-year:

bbanditt:

slett:

winchestercodependency:

ibecameacat:

what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do

dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off

“People with vaginas”

what are those called again

I can’t remember

adamusprime:

there’s no logical reason for shorts to be the same price as pants

nyehs:

what if for an entire year everyone stopped having kids and then there was like an empty grade level for 12 years

spoken-not-written:

My boyfriend just told me that the Krabby Patty secret ingredient is crab hence why it’s called a Krabby Patty and why Mr. Krabs is so secretive over it because he doesn’t want people to know they’re eating people like him and Plankton is actually a good guy.

oMG

symmetricalpainter:

ixerro:

foxyshy:

askscratcheddisk:

thetardisinhogwarts:

la-creme:

askpinkamena:

omg

this game was banned in my school because people would just play it over and over again in the library 

motherfuckin thank you

this would be really fucking cool if my arrow keys would fucking work. 

THIS IS PERFECT

Highscore at 507435.

Highscore at 954825.

Found a way to cheat, actually. :P

Oh god no… No… NO… I WASTED TOO MANY HOURS ON THIS LONG AGO.

OH MY GOD NOT THIS GAME AGAIN

screwsociety:

stabbygrass:

you know girls can tell when you look at their boobs

i don’t care how quickly you glance, 1 second is like 5 seconds in boob time

so, for relativistic boobtime, where t is the observer, and t’ is the time measured at the boob.

t=t’/sqrt(1-(v/c)^2)
solving for t=1, and t’=5, we get that the boobspeed, v, is represented by
v=+/- (6*10^8)sqrt(6)i m/s

boobs travel at 1.5 gigametres per second in the complex direction.

what the fuck did you just do to my simple post

luxgay:

she wears short skirts i wear your grandads clothes she’s cheer captain and i look incredible

puppetcams:

The year is 2540, a student in history class notices something off about his textbook. “How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999?” The teacher puts his air-marker down on the table, lowers his head, and sighs. “Because…” he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, “… only 90’s kids remember the 90’s!”

damnhowell:

so this girl at my school was mad at me so on facebook she sent me

instead of correcting her spelling, i just took her profile picture and made this and sent it to her

she doesn’t get it

hunkules:

I HATE WHEN YOU’RE TRYING TO GET YOUR BLANKET ON BUT YOU TURN IT THE WRONG WAY SO THEN THE SHORT WIDTH IS ON YOU LONG WAYS AND YOUR FEET ARE COLD AND YOU HAVE TO MOVE THE ENTIRE BLANKET ALL OVER AGAIN